Neonates

Presently, I have a class to finish up. I should be doing that right now. I have a paper to finish by tomorrow. But...
I am sick of thinking academically...
I am being distracted by other kinds of thinking, like:
1. I just told K today that I was worried about not feeling the baby move, and now, at this very moment, the baby is kicking me right under the ribs. I am surprised s/he is already that high, but I don't care. I felt our baby move! For the first time, at 23 weeks!
2. I re-met a mom who was in neonatal with us. She had a little boy. I am 23 weeks right now, and I'm thinking N was born at around 25. (Is that right, mama?)
Neonatal babies are not cute. They look like plucked chickens, or aliens or baby hamsters. Maybe some of them look like wrinkly pug puppies. I remember thinking my kids were cute at the time.

I was wrong.

But N was seriously cute. He looked like a normal baby. Except you could almost fit him in your palm.

And his mom was funny. I needed her humor when I had to spend 8 hours a day hearing, "Your son may have brain damage. He probably won't be able to walk on his own." "Your daughter is on the highest oxygen we can give her. There is nothing else we can do." "Your son has sepsis, we think. We're going to have to do a spinal tap."

We needed laughter, and N's mom gave it to us often. She was serious too, which is what made us able to accept her humor so easily. That, and the fact that her own baby was going through issues similar to our own wee neonates.

We kept each other sane. If our kids weren't doing well, at least M's was doing ok that day. There was hope.

We kept in touch through Christmas cards. It took us a few years to recover from the hurricane of it all.

Then, in the last few months, we started talking about getting our kids together. We've both been talking to our kids about the miracles that occurred in each of their incubators, while they lay, unaware, hooked up to their many tubes and tanks.

We emailed. She emailed me a few times while her students were doing individual projects. (She is a teacher). She sent me pictures of her sons. I forwarded them to my sister, who regularly asks how her oldest, N, was doing.)

After receiving the forward, my sister read the name on the photos. M's first and LAST name, and suddenly she made a connection:

M is my niece's teacher. My sister and I laughed about the fact that M was emailing me while teaching my niece (because my sister and I would be doing the same thing), and then we decided to get together at her school. I finally got to see M again, and while it has been almost five years, it feels like I really know her.

Those times, in neonatal, change a person, and when you re-meet someone who went through that horrible roller coaster with you, there will always be a connection that you won't quite have anywhere else. An understanding.

A "Hey, you were there too."

It was good to see her.