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Saturday, April 29, 2006

Toddler Tactics


A friend of mine was talking about how her little girl doesn't get disciplined very much because she knows what she is not allowed to do, so she doesn't do those things.

Um, hmmm....that doesn't sound like my kids really at all.
Today, BEFORE 10 AM(!), my kids tossed two full bowls of milky cereal on the (carpeted) dining room floor, they pooped at really inconvenient times (I know, that isn't misbehaving, but it sure is annoying), they got into the baking soda and smeered it into their hair and into the carpet, they changed the greeting on my answering machine so that it (no laughing) recorded me yelling at and spanking S before telling her to go to time-out for smearing buttcream all over herself. (My mom finally called and left me a message about my "nice" greeting). I don't even spank that much, but this is the third time in a very short time that S got into the butt-cream (which is really greasy and almost impossible to clean up....AND it smells like fish). Of course, when I DO spank, who, but my kids, would be able to figure out how to record it for the world to hear?
Not done yet: they also dumped their toy box 5 times while I was preoccupied with the inconvenient diapers, and they continued on their way to the kitchen, where they managed to dump a dry bowl of cereal onto the kitchen floor. Those little plastic chairs that they can drag around the house to any (usually prohibited) location are from the devil!

All of these toddler tactics occured (mostly) while I was cleaning an overflowed toilet (which, yes, managed to seep into our now-really-pudrid-smelling carpet). The kids (quite needless to say?) are taking an early nap, and I am now going to take a hot shower in our stinky bathroom. Ah, motherhood.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Dangerous Minds (or curious but not smart enough yet)



Our kids are smarter this year and more physically able to do things. Yet, they are also still too dumb to know when they are putting themselves in danger.
For instance, I let them out on the back deck, thinking, "Oh good, this year the kids won't be able to squeeze their tiny heads through the railings. They won't be able to fling themselves to their death below." So, I am happily lounging on the couch while the kids play outside, when I hear a chair being pushed across the deck. B is STANDING on the chair, which is now right next to the railing. He most definitely could have flung himself over just in time for his mama to witness. (He didn't. I came to the rescue, but still....)
Then, B and Z opened the window on the other side of the deck that faces our neighbor's yard (and Max, the dog) and leaned their upper halves out to get a better view. Almost died.
B and Z ALSO (notice no girl doing these crazy things?) managed to open the deck latch on the front of the house and went to "see Jin's cuck", which was parked ON THE ROAD. Yup, they were playing on the street when we found them.

SO, I think my nerves will be frazzled by the end of the summer and I might have all grey hair. Don't say anything about my new wrinkles and shaky hands. I'll be fine.

And quit thinking THAT. I really AM watching my kids. Sometimes, I am right there. But they are mastermind sneaky kids. They are good at what they do. They are genious at getting into trouble. I claim no responsibility.

________________

Small confession:

I may have dramatized some of this so that you understand what my imagination TELLS me would happen every time I find my kids in a compromising situation. Really? I was outside BEFORE B tried to stand on the chair to fling himself to his death. Also, I was right there when B and Z opened the deck window (and I was holding their feet so that they couldn't hang out). AND, B and Z were only on the SIDE of the road when we found them, and they were only there for a few seconds.

You wouldn't have gotten the full effect of my frazzled nerves if I would have been COMPLETELY honest, would you?

Friday, April 14, 2006

Neonatal


My friend, Gilly, just became the mama to a wee baby girl. Her name is Bethany Grace. I am imagining her tiny hand gripping the very tip of her daddy's fingernail (and having that be alot to hold onto). I am imagining her kicking and squirming around in her soft bed of folded hospital blankets. I imagine she has a weak (maybe inaudible?), but heart-wrenching cry.
I got the call the other night while my kids were fighting and crying. I heard Tommy say that Gilly was the mom of a wee baby girl, and I couldn't calculate fast enough how early our new little friend was, exactly. But I knew it wasn't time....and then Tommy said three months early, and a flood of memories came rushing in:

Trying to peer through plastic isolettes at the baby you would rather be cuddling in her very own bedroom at home.

Holding her hand and wishing that you weren't obsessed with the monitor she is hooked up to.

Wondering when she will no longer be swimming in her baby clothes (even preemie).

Hating to see her face get all scrunched up and sad when she cries, and knowing that you can do little about it.

Dreading the fact that you have to sleep sometime, and wondering if the nurses will be gentle with her while you are gone.

And counting the days until she can finally come home to her real home with her adoring parents.

And yet, with all of that nervousness and worry and even anger at the fact that our child's welcome into the world wasn't how it was supposed to be, I remember being thankful for our tiny, beautiful kids....I remember being glad I was their mama.

There is an overwhelming love and appreciation of life that takes place when you witness first-hand (and very personally) just how fragile each one of our lives really is. And you are thankful for every moment you have to spend time with those who are precious to you.

I remember, too, thinking that I would never get angry at our kids or want to discipline them. I wondered if I would ever want to let them away from my side....would I ever get frustrated? Annoyed? Overwhelmed? No way! Look at how precious and beautiful they are! And now our tiny kids are two years old....and I am SO thankful for their health and their lives and the opportunity I have been given to raise them, but I definitely do get annoyed sometimes (and frustrated and angry)...

and this is my new lesson, I guess: that I can be really irritated at my kids in one moment and in that same moment possess an overwhelming love and care for them, a desire for them to be happy and loved and comfortable and content. And I wonder if God (our Father) thinks that way about us.

Congratulations, dear Gilly and Tommy. I know you won't read this any time soon. You will be busy for some time to come. But still, maybe some day, months from now, you will know our family was thinking of you and sending love your way.