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Saturday, November 11, 2006

Think First

So, do you remember how I said that I sometimes experience airhead moments? Here is my latest example. Our good-looking, really-nice mechanic calls to say that he will deliver our van to us. I am grateful. He says he will come in the next half hour. We hang up.
He calls again in 30 minutes:
"Hello?"
"Hi, this is Vaughn. I am looking for your house. I think I missed it, because I am right across from the school. Where are you from there?" I look across the street, and I can see a green-grey van drive by.
"Um, I think I see you. Are you driving a van?"
"Yup. That van would be yours...."
"Oh."
What was going through my brain in those two seconds before I decided to ask the question? Did I think he was coming to hang out with the family? To share my lunch? To drive over and check out the route before actually bringing my van to me? Hmmm.

And just so I don't feel as stupid, here are some dumb things other people have said in CHURCH BULLETINS: (I know, I know...lame. But read them, I was laughing like I had a few too many juice boxes. I might be extra special tired and overwhelmed, because K is gone all weekend, but I really think they might just be funny.)
1. Area Promise Keepers are having a pancake breakfast for the Community Cooperative Ministry shelter for abused and battered women. They've been touching women for Christ for ten years.
2. Barbara C remains in the hospital. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
3. Don't forget, Ash Wednesday is Monday, March 5th.
4. God Is Good. Dr Hargreaves is better.
5. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
6. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
7. Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
8. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
9. Thank you, Lord, for the many miracles we are too blond to see.
10. The Baby shower will be at 2:00 p.m. Saturday. All ladies invited. No clothing needed.
11. "The church in the 90s -- How do I respond as a Christian woman?" Our lesson this week will be presented by Ben Cole, John Crowder, and Bill Vaught.
12. The ladies of the church are collecting items for Newborns in Need: fabric and supplies for knitting, crocheting, quilting, and sewing; finished goods; new and gently used clothing and blankets in good condition. Please place your baby in the bassinet located in the hallway.
13. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
14. Tonight's sermon: What Is Hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.
15. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.