Random Thoughts from Random Kids

Z's Strange Preferences:
1. As we were driving past a cemetery, he exclaims, "Mama, I LOVE gravestones! They are bee-u-tee-full!"

2. While getting his dirty diaper changed, (Yes, he is back in diaps), "Let me SEE the poop, mom!" (I show him.) "Aw, cute, isn't it, mama?!"

S's Ponderings
1. While watching me get dressed, S points and asks, "Mama, is THAT and THAT your tummy?" ("Nope, and I really hope they aren't THAT hangy?")

I guess I shouldn't have expected better after using that sadistic breast pump for ten months!

2. While reciting her first verse, S states, "God made Evan (her cousin) and the earth!"

3. Looking adoringly at K, "Oh, Papa, you are my cute, little, girl!"

B's Musings
1. After whacking Z in the face, REALLY hard, B looked at me, and said, "But I didn't TRY to do that!" (Sure, B. Sure.)

2. To illustrate how things have to be just-so for our dear boy, consider this situation:
His Winnie the Pooh book says "A dog says Bow Wow!" B starts to cry. (Seriously.) He yells, "NO! A dog DOESN'T say Bow Wow! A dog says Woof-Woof!"
Tending to his toddler OCD, I soothe, "I think that little dogs say Bow Wow, and big dogs say Woof-Woof."
Now, EVERY.SINGLE.TIME that book is read, B needs to insert, "Little dogs say Bow Wow. Big dogs say Woof-Woof!" And he is satisfied and content with the predictable order in the world.

Under-Appliance Storage

Today, I gave B a treat, and he dropped it on the floor. It rolled under the stove, and I couldn't rescue it for him. Not even with a wire hanger. So I decided to take out the bottom drawer and find it. I was not to be defeated.

I did find it.

Along with:
A piece of a game from church. Little thieves!
2 crayons, 1 colored pencil
5ish M&Ms
2 duck-shaped candies
1 jelly bean
1 screw
1 Lego
1 Music Stick
1 small chihuahua (its weeks-ago disappearance caused lots of tears)
1 Mrs. Kettle (is that the Disney teapot's name?)
1 half of an Easter egg (plastic!)
2 stacking pegs
1 flashlight
1 notebook (potty sticker book)
1 comb
1 fly
1 elephant
1 tweezers
1 pretzel
1 lizard
1 boulder (for their train set)
1 empty candy container
6ish Kix cereal
8ish Fruit Loops

You might've noticed (if you are as obsessive about Eye Spy books as I am) that the Fruit Loops, the M&Ms, and the Kix are not in the photo. That is because I left the giant pile on the floor to get a broom. I returned to mouths full of "Bonuses, mama!" Yup, we taught them that random candies found in their carseats are "bonuses", but I'm not so sure the description still applies to finds that are months-old, dusty, dirty, and possibly chewed-on by other, unknown creatures.

Hacking and Puking

After four nights of continuous (I'm not kidding, I mean it, NON-stop) coughing, crusty, lime-green snot, and fevers, I was starting to think maybe my kids should visit the doctor. Last night was the decider, when S started gagging and puking on the basketball-sized snot balls she was coughing up.
And I was starting to get a headache from the barracuda screams that have been protruding from Z's mouth. (He does those screams, at fire engine volume, when he feels like crap.)

B told Dr S that he was not sick, "Z and S are sick. See them." and then he wrapped himself to my leg like Saran Wrap. After prying him off, I placed the two snotty kids on the exam table, and waited for her diagnosis.

"S has an infection, and her lungs sound horrible, and way to wait till it reached her lungs to come in." said the doc. Then she continued with "Z's left ear has a nasty infection too. Good job, buddy. Both of them need antibiotics."

B concluded with, "I am NOT sick. Z and S are sick. I need a sticker."


Now the kids are sleeping, and I am looking forward to better days in the near-future. 24 hours for an antibiotic to kick in, right?

Anger and Sex Ed

S has amazing anger control for a 3-year-old. She will ask for something 9000 times without raising her voice or kicking or crying at all. Today, it went like this: I was helping B pour his cereal and milk, and S wanted me to help her into her booster chair. "Mom, can you help me? Mom? Can you help me? Mom? Can you help me, can you help me, help me, please?" (repeat 10 times)
"Hold on, S. I am helping B."
"Help, please, mom. Help? Please? Mom?" (still calm, cool, and collected)
I finally help S get settled in her chair.
"Thanks, Mom. I was just mad a little bit."
(Stifling a laugh), "You were?"
"Yup, I was mad at you a little bit." (almost monotone)
Wow. She didn't learn anger management from me, I don't think.


-------------------

S has also been singing her own version of the alphabet. Lyrics of this version follow: "A-B-C-D-STD...."
Experts warn you about waiting too long before teaching the dangers of premarital sex. You'd think we worked it right into our kids' first songs.

Potty-Training Pics