Poop Issues

What is the deal?

B pooped his pants today. Not so terrible, right?
Well, maybe not...unless you imagine this situation.
Imagine B, leaning over his top bunk rail, waiting for the perfect moment to catapult his poop-filled undies at his unsuspecting brother, who is supposed to be napping on the bottom bunk. Imagine two kids laughing uncontrollably and parents wondering what all the excitement is about. And imagine K entering the room just in time to see his son in mid-poop-fling.

Nice.

Now imagine a kid that will NOT poop. A kid that REFUSES to poop. Ever. This kid will gladly cross her legs and squeeze her butt cheeks together from sun up until sun down. She will joyfully lay dead-still on the couch for hours at a time.....Still enough to avoid having the tiniest, bittiest urge to poop...She would rather do either of those things than take two seconds (minutes, maybe) to sit her frickin' butt down on the potty and poop.

This can be an embarrassing situation.

For instance, we went to a dinner with some local officials of the city the other day. We had to introduce our grunting, teary-eyed girl whose legs were so crossed together they were shaking. Of course, the obvious first question (after "Who is this little girl?!) is "What is wrong? Why is this poor girl crying?! (and why are her parents ignoring her obvious distress?)", and we have to tell them, "Oh, she just has to poop."
"Do you need to know where the bathroom is?!" (shock upon their faces....at these parents who are neglecting the obvious needs of their child).
"No. She doesn't want to go. She WON'T go. Thank you though."
And then confusion, and a difficult time trying to think of another topic.

Poop throwers or poop holders, which would you prefer?

Country Life

So, today we picked a certain kind of leaf from the garden, and let the kids taste it. "This is what Basil tastes like", I informed. Z looked B up and down with suspicion, thinking (I'm sure), "It seems like he would taste much meatier than this."
B then asked, "Where are the S and Z plants?"

In the past, the kids have run five feet west and have been greeted by our neighbor, Max, the German Shepherd, whose owner is "not sure how he does with kids." They could skip two feet south, and they would be clipped by a speeding car, or they could meander a couple of feet north, and they would drown in our stream or crack their heads open on their fall into the water. Here, we live on 5 acres of land, and the kids have enough room to practice throwing Frisbees ....or balls....or each other (without landing them in dog teeth, water, a window, or the road).

Thanks

I read to the kids after meals sometimes. My idealistic self would say I read every day after dinner. My real self reads about once per week.
The topic was "What are you thankful for?"
Here are their answers:
S: For putting skin back on my knee.
B: For the black string on balloons.
Z: For Goliath. Goliath likes candy. And I do too.


We were at McDonalds, and I asked the kids if they wanted me to get them some food.
Z thought it over for a second, and said, "Yup, if it is ok with your parents."

I told him I thought it probably was ok with my parents.
Thanks for the permission, Z.