Toddler Tactics

A friend of mine was talking about how her little girl doesn't get disciplined very much because she knows what she is not allowed to do, so she doesn't do those things.

Um, hmmm....that doesn't sound like my kids really at all.
Today, BEFORE 10 AM(!), my kids tossed two full bowls of milky cereal on the (carpeted) dining room floor, they pooped at really inconvenient times (I know, that isn't misbehaving, but it sure is annoying), they got into the baking soda and smeered it into their hair and into the carpet, they changed the greeting on my answering machine so that it (no laughing) recorded me yelling at and spanking S before telling her to go to time-out for smearing buttcream all over herself. (My mom finally called and left me a message about my "nice" greeting). I don't even spank that much, but this is the third time in a very short time that S got into the butt-cream (which is really greasy and almost impossible to clean up....AND it smells like fish). Of course, when I DO spank, who, but my kids, would be able to figure out how to record it for the world to hear?
Not done yet: they also dumped their toy box 5 times while I was preoccupied with the inconvenient diapers, and they continued on their way to the kitchen, where they managed to dump a dry bowl of cereal onto the kitchen floor. Those little plastic chairs that they can drag around the house to any (usually prohibited) location are from the devil!

All of these toddler tactics occured (mostly) while I was cleaning an overflowed toilet (which, yes, managed to seep into our now-really-pudrid-smelling carpet). The kids (quite needless to say?) are taking an early nap, and I am now going to take a hot shower in our stinky bathroom. Ah, motherhood.