Triplets

All the time. Every day. Usually several times a day...people ask if our kids are triplets.
Maybe I am being too technical. I don't know. I just know that to call them triplets makes me feel like we are dismissing our baby girl, Addy. I don't want to do that.
When they were babies, I tried to get out of saying "yes, they are triplets" by dodging the question. I would quick ask the asker a question instead.
How old are YOUR kids? What were their names? Or I'd make a comment about the weather. Or the cracks in the sidewalk. Anything.
Once, I remember some guy asked if the kids were triplets, and I answered, "Not really," and kept walking. Away. He yelled after me, "Um, you can't NOT REALLY have triplets. They are, or they aren't!" So, I turned, glared, and replied, "They are not triplets. They are quadruplets. But since one of our kids died, I don't like to have to explain that to every person I meet." He quickly shut up, and mumbled an apology.

It is a conundrum. I can say, "No, they are not triplets" and feel bad that I have to explain our losing Adeline to someone who just wants a happy answer. Or I can say, "Yes, they are", and feel horrible for dismissing our daughter.
My solution (not necessarily a good one, but a solution none-the-less) is this:
Curious Stranger: "Are they triplets?"
Me: "They are all three years old" (or "They are all the same age").
The person ends up looking confused, but asks no more questions. Usually.

Today, someone asked the all-too-common question, and B piped up, (with way too much delight), "Yup, we are TRIPLETS!"
And something inside of me cringed. And I wanted to cry. And I couldn't smile at the guy who was saying something about how full my hands must be.

I could teach my kids (and have tried....to no avail) that they are quadruplets, but that people assume they are triplets, because they don't know Adeline. But is that really fair for them to have to explain to everyone anyway? And do people want to hear that from a three-year-old?
I am at a loss as to what to do with that question....especially now that the kids can answer for themselves....and they have been taught by everyone else that "Yes, we are indeed triplets! Look at us! Aren't we cute!!?"

Eh, heck. Maybe I need to just suck it up and get over it, but it doesn't necesarrilly seem that easy.